Where has all the chivalry gone???

Chivalry, to be honest, when I think about it, I think about a man opening doors for me, holding my hand to help me keep my balance, offering me his coat, etc, however, according to www.merriam-webster.com, chivalry can be defined as distinguished gentlemen, martial valor, gallant, oh and my favorite, customs of medieval knighthood.  In this day and age,  chivalry means just what I interpreted it to be, so why are we always looking for it or wondering if the mere existence of a "real man" really exists?  I associate chivalry and "real man" because with all do respect, in a sense, that's what we really mean.

I won't necessarily say chivalry is dead, because I believe for the most part, if you think it's dead, its because you are dealing or settling for the wrong type of men.  Reason being is chivalry's definition is not too far off of being the same thing that we expect out of a man, and if the men we are dealing with don't possess that quality, then one should ask them self, "Why am I dealing with him?"

Some of us let trends or (pop) culture decide what kind of man we want to date or deal with.  Satisfy what we are looking for initially first, and we'll worry about little things like chivalry later.  That means, look good, dress nice, have your money right first, then I'll either settle for the rest of what your about or try to change you.  However, if that is not what you saw in him in the first place, then don't ask yourself where has chivalry gone or is it dead, it was never there to begin with. 

Trends, culture, TV, media, etc has lead many of us to believe' in some cases, men that actually do what we expect them do, what they should do, or what they are supposed to do, are weak, and we don't want no "punk" as some would call it.  Humph, but after we get dogged, cheated on, disrespected, and beat on, we decide to go look or ask for something a lot if us forgot all about. 

Let me be honest, I have had a few exes that could be a little nice and chivalric on occasion, but sometimes if it was too much, because I wasn't use to it, I wouldn't even know how to act.  However, when I began dating again, I wouldn't really know how to deal with someone who was being kind or "chivalric" without acting, sounding, or responding all ignorant like no one has ever RESPECTED me before.  For some men, when you act like you're all not use to him being nice, respectable, or mannerable, that can be a huge turn off and they really question your judgement in men.  Lets be real, at that point, your judgemnt is very questionable. 

So let's not ask where has the chivalry gone.  If you have to ask that, you don't know what it is.  When you are interacting with someone and their actions show you that they are what you're looking for, they will respect you, and they are kind, then appreciate it, accept it, and welcome it with open arms.  Don't let the shock of realizing chivalry isn't dead make you appear ignorant and definitely don't tell yourself you "don't deserve him" (or it).  Most of us have pasts that taught us lessons we will never forget, especially in friendships, relationships, and in love.  After you have been through it all, the good bad, and the ugly, we are all deserving of any and everything worth having.  Those dues have been paid.