So this strangest thing happened...I'm chilling over my friend's house when I get a call from a known but unknown number. That means it came from a city I'm a very familiar with, a small city, but I was not sure what to expect or who to expect on the other end. My younger cousin, Dee, greets me and tells to me to hold on someone wants to speak to me. My cousin has the cutest baby I've ever seen and from time to time, she'll call to let her baby babble on the phone a couple of minutes with me, so I get ready to say "Hey DJ" when I hear a more mature voice instead. A voice I knew all too well and haven't heard in almost 10 years. I was a little caught of guard, but the way things ended between me and him, I wanted to hear what he had to say.
So let me explain...I was 17 and the local club had teen nights during our school breaks. I had just gotten out of a relationship with my first love (so I thought he was) so me and my friends decide to go hangout. We end up having a good time, although I have never really been a clubber, but I enjoyed myself. We also ended up meeting a group of guys, country boys, if you will, well dressed with that country slang that we love in the south. I was quick with my guard because I was still tending an "open wound" and I really wasn't up for meeting any new people, but my best friend at the time convinced me to try and move on. So we struck up a friendship with these guys and ultimately me and my friend both paired off with somebody. I paired off with a popular basketball player, who was cute, funny, and just always kept me laughing. He seemed to be just what I needed at the time. We quickly became "friends" and I found myself risking punishment every weekend just to be in his presence. I knew he was too good to be true, but I still went "all in" because I wanted it to work. Ultimately, however, reality set in. We were just kids, and he was too "wanted" to be with an average girl like me...I ended up hearing rumors that he was hanging out with other girls and all those nights he left me datelss began to make sense. Within 6 months, my heart was broken again, and I found myself leaving for college hurt, depressed, and shocked.
I mean, I made it through with the help of an unlikely friend, which is a WHOLE other blog, but I was still tending an open wound, because I never got closure. I just cut things off amd we went our separate ways...OK I ended up in the arms of one of his cousins, by coincidence, definitely not out of spite, but I still had an open chapter in my book, that needed to be closed.
Here we are, nearly 10 years later on the phone for the first time and his first words were, "I'm sorry." I know, cliche, and even more, who cares, I mean 10 years have passed and a whole lot of other stuff has gone down since, me and him. I tried not be standoffish and he soften me a little, but I'm still somewhat in shock that I am even blogging this today, because I never would have guessed it.
I realized at the time that I loved him, but after 10 years, the grudge boat had defimitely sailed, I mean, WE WERE KIDS. I know somewhere there's sign that says "Proceed with Caution" but I definitely know that the apology had to happen for a reason. That old saying "You don't know what you got 'til it's gone". No truer words have ever been spoken. This whole thing taught me that despite any ulterior motive he may have (he's got to have one, I'm not dumb or am I overreacting?), but any who, I learned that I went through a lot of things in those 10 years and all of that has afforded me the strength and ability to forgive DESPITE the circumstances. If I didn't take anything away from that apology, I took that. That alone is enough to justify everything I been through worth the while. Another stitch in my heart is healed until next time....
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