Gone for a minute...

So I have been gone for a minute, but I got a brief wind of inspiration (when one of my followers advised me that they were missing my stories).  A lot of my stories stem from my personal experiences and I sometimes have to get to a point where I am ready to let the world know of my mistakes.  I preached on so much when it comes to relationships, being single, etc. and I am a little embarrassed by the most recent story, but hey, like to hear it? Hear it goes...

I reconnected with an old friend after 10 years.  Why in the world did I do that?  You'd think that after 10 years, most people would have progressed from 17 to 27.  I was so wrong.  Of course, the plight of the black woman would be claim independence and state your position with a man after being single for so long (i.e. must not have kids, debt, drama, etc.).  The problem is, finding a black man of that caliber is almost non-existent.  I know, that's sad.  So being that this "old friend" had 2 of the 3 issues, the next plight of the black woman is to negotiate her standards because some men can function despite their personal problems or trials.  When a man can juggle his past life (kids, baby mama, etc.) with his new life, new girlfriend, no kids, etc, that can be extremely flattering to us women.  But when you can't even juggle the combination you've now accepted, it becomes a huge problem and an emotional roller coaster.

It begins with "I need me a good woman...I'm ready."  Me being the flexible person that I am, despite the pickings of men we all think are available, I tried my best to make things work.  Now I work, have no kids, and I live in another town, but I was making time to make things right because I care just that much.  When it's your turn, the set back is, "I got to see about my kids..." "Can't leave town because of probation..." "Got to go to court because of child support..." Now, there is nothing wrong with that (Psych!!!!), but after 2 or 3 times of being put dead last to everything in your life (when you have no real life), I can only wonder if you really want what you think you're ready for, or are you just testing me and my patience to see how long I can deal before I lose my cool. 

Long story short, I never want a man to have choose between his girlfriend (wife) and kids, but as a single woman with no kids, how many times do I allow you to let me down with all your other issues on top of having KIDS, before I decide I've had enough.  Maybe as a single woman, I don't have the same obligations as you do, but I know we already sacrifice a lot to deal with others' baggage.  It just seems so unfair when you are not bringing any baggage into the situation.  I unpacked all my baggage only to make room for you, your baggage, and your U-haul truck of on going issues (child support, kids, PROBATION).  One has to wonder, how many standards of mine, did I really compromise? 

I realize that was a recipe that was never going to be flavorful or one with taste.  A recipe that no one would ever want seconds or thirds of.  After talking with a few sistas this weekend, apparently I am far from alone in my struggle.  Come to find out, many women have characterized this as "a sign of the times" or "the last days", if you will.  Is this really a for real, for real sign of the APOCALYPSE.  So I can't get one good man, boyfriend, husband, or start one family before the good Lord calls us all home? 

Reality check...